Divorce is a major life-changer. It can make you feel like you are failing in an important area of your life: family. If children are involved, feelings of guilt may increase. However, there are ways to find peace during this trying time.
Try to gain a little perspective. Recognize that this too shall pass. Stepping back and being able to view your divorce in its proper context may help. While divorce may be challenging, looking beyond the actual process to the final outcome can help.
Seek counseling.If you are having a difficult time getting through your divorce, it might be time to seek professional help. Look for someone who specializes in divorce and family issues to help provide the tools you need to manage your changing marital status. In Howard County, the National Family Resiliency Center provides counseling services for families going through divorce.
Join a support group. No one knows how you feel, but talking to people who have previously been through a divorce can help. Many churches or community groups can assist you in finding a support group. Finding camaraderie and support among people who have been through divorce can help you to feel like you are not alone.
Establish boundaries. If conversations with your spouse are unproductive or ugly, then use discretion in deciding when to have a conversation. You can choose when to accept or return a call, so don’t feel pressured to engage at every opportunity. Set boundaries for your peace of mind.
Do what you can to limit the pain. There may be many painful issues that arise during the divorce process. Try not to pursue issues for the sake of hurting your spouse. You will prolong the agony and hurt yourself in the process. Determine, along with your attorney, those issues that are most important to resolve and pursue legally.
Focus on the positive. If you have children, focus on the fact that although things did not work out in the marriage, you have wonderful children as a result. Focus on co-parenting, if possible, with your spouse and working toward the best results for your children.
Try not to over-think it. Many people wonder if they tried hard enough, or what they could have done differently. In most cases, this kind of second-guessing only serves to build anxiety and stress. When thoughts of doubt arise, and it’s only natural that they will, try to refocus on thoughts of things to come and events that you can look forward to.
Manage your expectations. Don’t expect your spouse to change or behave better during a divorce proceeding than he/she did during the marriage. Since emotions tend to be at a high level, divorce often brings out the worst in people, so be prepared.
Take care of yourself. It is important to find ways to de-stress during the divorce. Going for a walk is a good way to relax. A yoga class will teach you to breathe and clear your mind. Whatever you choose, do something that you enjoy.
Finding peace in any major life-changing event is not easy, but working with an experienced family attorney, like Linda Sorg Ostovitz will help to make the legal process go more smoothly. In the end, you may find that life after divorce is better than it was in a tumultuous relationship.
If you are considering divorce and need the assistance of an experienced lawyer to help you work through some of these issues, then please contact Linda Sorg Ostovitz at lostovitz@offitkurman.com or 301-575-0381.
ABOUT LINDA SORG OSTOVITZ
Linda Sorg Ostovitz is a family law attorney. Her legal experience spans more than 34 years. In this time, she has served as a leader, educator and advocate. Mrs. Ostovitz holds a prestigious fellowship in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Currently, she serves as President for the Business Women’s Network of Howard County, by which she was chosen Woman of Distinction for 2014. Mrs. Ostovitz represents clients in Howard, Anne Arundel, Carroll and Baltimore Counties. Her practice focuses exclusively on divorce litigation and mediation, child custody and access, child support, alimony, business valuation, as well as property and asset distribution. In addition to providing legal representation in court, Mrs. Ostovitz provides mediation services to help families come to a fair and legally-sound conclusion outside of the traditional court proceedings.
ABOUT OFFIT KURMAN
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